Well, friends. This post will be longer than most.
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| Just a pretty, yet wholly unrelated, wall in Madrid |
Let's start at the beginning. Nearly a year ago, I both got an iPhone and started a blog. Thus began my love/hate relationship with social media. I was always torn between wanting to share what God is doing in me and wanting to show how "beautiful" my life was (or how beautiful I made it appear). Especially since being in Spain, it's easy to use social media as a means to boast about myself instead of using it show Christ in me. I've been working through defining what a healthy use of social media means for me. Better put, I've thought about what an
authentic use of social media means for me.
Pride feeds in to my desire to use social media as a means to be admired. Humility is something for which I'm continually praying. I told my friend on Friday night that I was being humbled every day by my inability to fully communicate in Spanish. Saturday night brought further humbling.
About three years ago, my iPad was stolen in the city. I was silly and that night shook me. Since then, I've been extremely vigilant about protecting my goods. In listening to my program coordinator talk about safety, she told us that an incident will affect at least one person in our group. My pride wanted that person not to be me.
But it was. During a trip to Salamanca, I put my phone in my back pocket because it couldn't fit into my purse and I felt bad leaving it in my coat. By the end of the night, it was gone. In that moment, I felt ashamed. I still do. Back pockets are a pickpocket's best friend.
I felt overwhelmed by two feelings. First, I wanted to hide the fact that I was dumb enough to be pickpocketed. Second, I wanted my phone back. I wanted my ability to share my life with the world again, for people to know what an exciting time this was for me.
In short, my prayer for humility has overwhelming been answered. I am reminded that I will fail, because I am human. I have an automatic fast from Instagram. Most importantly, I have an opportunity to share God's grace. If I'm being honest, my faith hasn't been where I want it to be, but God in His grace keeps pulling me towards him. After all, only He could turn a stolen phone into a blessing.
I'm writing this post for me. I'm writing this post because it's humbling to honestly share where your heart is. I'm writing this because because I forgot how, more than wanting to be admired, I want to be authentically known. I'm writing this because I think that's what I've wanted this blog to be all along. And thank you, friend, if you've read this all the way through.
Share the love,
Taylor
