Musings: Why I'm Tired of Being Black

I could very well have titled this post "Why I'm Tired of Being Labeled", but you may not have read that post. And really, "black" is the main label I have to deal with. I love my heritage, my history. This post is simply a way for me to say that I would like to be me.

And by be me, I mean being insanely cute like this picture from wayyyy back when

For whatever reason, I've talked about race so much this semester. I've explored my own thoughts and my own weaknesses. I've seen the prejudices that we all harbor and it scares me. I'm scared that the color of my skin makes people think that I'm some altered being and that they don't realize it.  I'm afraid to become a mother who will be unable to protect her children from these beliefs. My children will have to explain  that their skin is skin and yes, if it sits in the sun, it will darken. That their hair is just really curly hair. They can straighten it and wash it. It's hair. They'll have to deal with people who make racist jokes because they have black friends and "It's ok." I fear that my girls will wonder if every compliment is colored with "for a black girl" or that the compliments simply exist because they are some type of exotic being. I fear my boys getting in an accident and being shot because they asked the wrong person for help.

I'm tired of explaining that people are the way they are because of where they come. I'm tired of explaining or observing white privilege. I abhor the fact that white people are allowed to have idiosyncracies, to be distinctive people. While black people are assumed to have the exact same type of hair, to all be good at sports, to be poor, to be less than. I want to be a person without a qualifier.  I am weary of people me calling the names of other black women, as if we all look the same. That is laziness and lack of regard that people need to be convicted about. And it's not just white people. I hear black people say that all white people look the same and others saying all Asians look the same.

 Which brings me to my point,  we are people. We are people who God, the Creator of beauty, saw fit to make so that we could appreciate Him more. When I talk about race and prejudice, my heart is heavy in a way that it has never been before. My soul sings, "Come, Lord Jesus" because I know that is the only time that we will see complete restoration. I will spend eternity with the God who appreciates every curl on my head and who made my dark skin that still tans. And He will delight in each one of His children. And our eyes will be opened. We'll get it. We'll see Beauty.

That moment is a ways off, but it starts now. It starts by identifying our prejudices. I have some and I know you do too. It starts by seeing people as people, not skin colors. My name is Taylor Bryant. I was born and raised in the suburbs of Chicago. I like indie music and black and white movies. I eat far too much pasta. I'm soft-spoken. I wear my hair in an afro. I love taking pictures and editing them.  I have a killer sweet tooth. I am a woman. I am a person. I have my own beliefs, thoughts, and ideologies. And yes, I am black.

This post is meant to spark conversation. Let's chat.

Share the love,

Taylor